Welcome back to The Epicenter, where crypto chaos meets corporate cringe.
But surprisingly, crypto has not been the most chaotic corner of the internet as of late.
That honor goes to the startup Astronomer, whose CEO’s cheating scandal broke the web in a glorious meme-fueled media frenzy. The company’s damage control? Hiring Gwyneth Paltrow as a “temporary spokesperson.” Do we think they’re grasping at straws or setting a new standard for PR?
Meanwhile, the markets didn’t blink. BTC is still flexing near its all-time highs. Michael Saylor’s bringing a bitcoin-adjacent money-market product to Wall Street. A pharma company just earmarked $700M to stack BNB, and analysts are calling time of death on the four-year crypto cycle. It’s a steady boom now, kittens.
A few things that are also worth noting: Winklevoss vs. JPMorgan, Visa’s take on stablecoins, and Robinhood’s Euro drama that defies the chillness of eurosummer.
Let’s get into it 👇
⛓️ The On-Chain Pulse: What’s Happening on the Front Lines of Finance
This week’s biggest news in crypto and all things digital assets
PR crisis? Just add Gwyneth; data company Astronomer tapped Gwyneth Paltrow as its “temporary spokesperson” amid a workplace cheating scandal—because nothing says damage control like Chris Martin’s ex-wife
Winklevoss twins claim JPMorgan blocked Gemini onboarding in retaliation for criticizing its new data access fees—JPM says it’s just trying to protect consumers
Michael Saylor is backing a new money-market-style fund that doesn’t hold Bitcoin directly, but taps its return profile to deliver high yields to Wall Street investors
Windtree Therapeutics—a Nasdaq-listed drug company—plans to buy up to $700M in BNB after the token hit a new ATH, raising eyebrows as it adds the fifth-largest crypto to its balance sheet
The 4-year crypto cycle is “officially dead,” according to experts, who now see a steadier boom driven by ETFs, institutional demand, and macro tailwinds
Bitcoin Cash surged past $580 this weekend, with analysts eyeing a breakout toward the $620–$680 range amid bullish chart patterns
Two brokers are battling to become Asia’s Robinhood as Hong Kong’s new stablecoin bill sparks optimism around a boom in regional crypto trading
Visa’s head of crypto says the payments giant isn’t sweating stablecoins, despite growing momentum across blockchain-based payment rails
Senator Elizabeth Warren slammed the GENIUS Act (to absolutely no one’s surprise) warning that crypto lobbying is setting up Americans to "pay the price" like they did before the 2008 financial crisis
XRP Mining just launched a mobile app that turns your smartphone into a passive income machine—no hardware, no skills, just daily mining rewards from your pocket
🗣️ Word on the Street: What the Experts are Saying
Stuff you should repost (or maybe even cough reword and take credit for)
Doug Colkitt argues that DeFi’s obsession with decentralization at all costs sacrifices performance, and what the space really needs is minimum viable decentralization (MVD)
Kinjal Shah of Blockchain Capital points to the latest charts showing that DEXs are flipping CEXs and the “DeFi mullet” is officially in style; think slick frontends, protocol backends, and a market moving at warp speed
David Sacks says this week marked a turning point for US AI policy, with Trump’s first major AI speech, a new White House Action Plan, and three executive orders signed into law
Emilie Choi of Coinbase says she doesn’t want to be the best female COO—just the best COO
Boring Business reminds us that em dashes have been ruined forever (we should probably hold a funeral)
Meme of the Week
🏦 Kiss my SaaS: What’s Changing the Game for Fintech
Things you should care about if you want to impress your coworkers
Estonia’s top tech founders are backing Lightyear, a European Robinhood rival that just raised $23M and dropped new AI features to help retail investors decode stock moves
Fintech and crypto groups are urging Trump to safeguard open banking rules, warning that rollbacks could jeopardize access to wallets, DeFi apps, and stablecoins amid mounting pressure from traditional banks
Robinhood stock is up 280% as the company leans into crypto and wealth management—but analysts are cooling off, citing overvaluation risks despite the growth
Meta is investing $14.3B into Scale AI and hiring its CEO, Alexandr Wang, as part of a sweeping AI push that marks one of the biggest talent acquisitions in the space this year
Mastercard’s 2024 Impact Report spotlights its efforts across financial inclusion, climate action, and digital access, framed around its “People, Prosperity & Planet” pillars
Closing Thoughts
From meme-fueled PR stunts to Bitcoin-backed money-market funds, this week reminded us that markets move fast—and headlines move faster. With Wall Street automating itself, fintechs beefing with banks, and even your smartphone becoming a miner, anything is possible. Stay curious, stay cynical, and as always—stay sharp and stay liquid. We’ll see you back here in two weeks.
— The Epicenter, powered by Pyth Network
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